The Self Employment/Self Care Balance

When I decided to become a full-time real estate agent, I thought I had a pretty decent idea of what that would look like. I thought that evenings and weekends were spent doing showings, open houses, and writing contracts. That was the simple formula to being in real estate. While those assumptions were completely true, they entirely neglect the other half of the job, consisting of a regular Monday-Friday, 8-5 schedule, in addition to those evenings and weekends. I had completely underestimated what it took to work within this industry. I'm happy to be where I am in my career and wouldn't trade it for a "normal" job. That being said, it's taken me a bit to get my bearings and develop a plan for making sure my self-employment doesn't interfere with my self-care.

One of the biggest struggles in my adult life has been burnout. While in college, I signed myself up as a full-time student, often holding multiple jobs to work full-time hours, simultaneously. I also had to be everyone's most loyal and helpful friend, the #1 girlfriend in the world, and the most supportive family member possible. Juggling all of that and more, eventually became my downfall. I've suffered from depression, anxiety, and a poor relationship with myself at times. Though things have been going well for me recently, the truth is that having been there before, there came a time where I was faced with the possibility of falling into that darker place again. Wanting to save myself before things could take a turn for the worst, I had to strategize ways to perform a balancing act between my professional and personal lives. This is a struggle I'd imagine most all self-employed people go through, and even many of those with a traditional job structure, so I want to share some of the tactics that I use to keep this balance.

1. Maintaining (or trying to maintain) a Regular Sleep Schedule

Before my start in real estate, I would rest and rise as I pleased. I had nothing I needed to get up early for, so I simply would not, causing me to stay up later and continue the cycle. I quickly realized that this was not working for me in my new position. I began setting a bedtime for myself. Using the Health App on my phone, I receive a reminder of my bedtime each night. Some nights are a little bit different than others, so this bedtime is somewhat of a flexible timeframe, but the nightly reminder helps me to prioritize my sleep. The Health app will also warn me (based on the time I select to go to sleep and the time I choose to set my alarm for the next morning) if I am getting the proper amount of sleep for the lifestyle I'd like. I've seen a lot of benefits of my new sleep schedule in all areas of my life. I don't find myself spending as much time on social media, which is good for my overall mental health, I wake up with more energy and clarity each day, and my appetite is more regulated than before. I used to think I was Superwoman for running on a couple of hours of sleep each day, but I now realize I can actually be her by sleeping more.

2. Scheduling "Do Nothing" Time

It sounds silly, but I've begun planning out times in which I have no expectations of myself. This time can be used to mindlessly watch tv, take a bath, color a picture, or sit with the silence and stare into the abyss. Whatever it is, this is time specifically set aside to do something that has no pressure attached to it. For me, this time is spent independently. While I love the company of my family and friends, spending time with them shouldn't take away from my time with myself. The time I spend with those I love is in a separate category that is in addition to my "do nothing" time. Both are important, and I've decided that they should coexist in my planner. Scheduling these personal time blocks exactly as I would schedule my professional expectations holds me responsible for caring for myself and those closest to me just as much as I am held responsible for caring for my clients.

Creating healthy boundaries has allowed me to perform better during the hours I do spend on my work. It has also made me appreciate the time I have with myself or those I love even more. I do sometimes find myself struggling to not allow spill-over of work into personal times, but these strategies have helped me begin prioritizing myself as much as my job. I'm sure as I spend more time adjusting to this new career, I'll discover ways to improve upon this system, but for now, it's been a great place to start. Work on setting your own boundaries and if the job you work (self-employed or not) doesn't allow for it, it may be necessary to find a new path. You are more valuable than your job title.